perasaan aku sekarang

p/s: saya baru beli modem dial up. ini post pertama dengan modem baru. ceh

nearly one month i’ve been homed. lonely, passive and moneyless. daily routine repeated its drafted schedule days after days and i have no idea how to change it into something better. wake up late , digging frigde for food, turning the washing mashine dials, brooming and vacumming out dust from carpets, and went to market to get supplies. i think i am a housewife now, but unpay. and most of the my afternoon and evening was filled by running errands for my mom. life seems to be a little bit empty. no feeling, no happy, no stress, nono~ haha

erm entahlah. aku pun tak tau ape perasaan aku sekarang. yang pasti, bosan, penat dan sakit.bosan kerana duduk dirumah tanpa aktiviti2 yang biasa aku lakukan, plus tiada berkawan juga. penat kerana hari2 aku berkerja menjadi buruh kasar, penat memikirkan masa depan dan penat berharap itu dan ini. sakit (read:sick) dengan suasana dan cara hidup di jerantut. internet perlu ke cc yang komputernye dodgy dan selalu penuh. post office punya lah besar, tapi kaunter ade 2 yang bukak dan beratus orang yang beratur dan separuh darinya pendatang asing yang baunya dibenci betul oleh payeh. mentality orang jerantut masih belum berubah, dan aku sakit betul dengan cara hidup sebegini. jari aku juga sick (baca: sakit) sebab selalu pecah dan kering.

sekarang ni yang aku tau aku nak bekerja. bekerja dengan mama kadang kala best, kadang kala bosan, dan gaji tidak tetap. tapi rugi juga kemahiran yang aku tuntut 5 tahun di uni kalau akhirnya aku kerja menaip, menghantar barangan dan menyidai baju. i need a job that can polish up my skills and ability. aku doakan diri aku cepat dapat kerja. sudah bosan betul…

p/s lagi: aku mahu kembali ke arena mengarut di blog ini. sila ambil perhatian kepada peminat2 blog aku. huaahhaa

flying back to the equator

after nearly 23 days of cold and spending days of sub-zero, i am returning home tomorrow. somehow, eventhough i felt like staying because i love the lifestyle here, but i miss the hot and sweat and nasi berkuah lemak di tanah air tercinta. never felt like this before. i always wanted to escape from malaysia before. but this experience make me realize that home is always the best. hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri, baik lagi negeri sendiri. that pribahasa is definitely true. i couldnt agree more. honestly, this trip teach me about life, survivor and how to confront problems and challenges.

hey mom, i will come back home new. hey dad, im gratefull i will be with you again. wait for me. anakmu pulang penuh pengalaman didada!!

flight details

heathrow (1030) to kuwait (1935)

transit in kuwait

kuwait (2345) to kuala lumpur (1230 8jan09)

malaysia pasti lebih panas. dekat dengan equator bukan?

sila ambil saya!!!!

home and jerantut

benci2

susah gle nk dpt internet connection kat rumah

knape la jerantut menyusahkan semua benda

aaa i am kinda lost and freak out without internet

ill come back later k..skng ni kat cc

ill upload something

life is a bit messy and hectic for the past few days

miss my life in utp

semester holiday

last entry was posted around 2 weeks ago. i had very little access to internet when im at home. dial up is always sucks. nk load gmbr pon lembab. plus the time limitation, and other interesting activities that filling up my time at home, made me left internet behind. food, tv,  and bed is the main factor. i also did multiple job at one time during this holiday; driver, housekeeper, baby sitter, personal assistant, accountant, cook, tukang beli sayur, garderner, and laundry servicer. if i keep doing those job for another 2 years, i can simply become a millionaire, from the salary of that jobs.

my days in this holiday flew as usual days by days. but i keep on moving and traveling. in a week, i spend only 4 days at home, and the other 3 i spend it outside. g kuantan, g kl, g ganu, janda baik, seremban, and few more places before i return back to utp. i hope i can make it to my target go to to kelantan and singapore before the semester ends.

euro is a phenomena too. 2 match per night (but usually half-game-gone) was a hard challenge. i wish i could watch all match, but the my determination only stops at few interesting and important match. italy, group c, spain, portugal.. others, tgk highlight je la…because of that also, i had to bare my ears every morning from my mom shouts and curse haha. dh tido lmbt, sure taleh bgn pagi.

ok la. stop here. i have tonnes of idea to write, but the mood isn’t there. the courage to write in utp, compare to at home is different. i’ll update later. till then~

on the way back to utp

i am driving alone this evening when i decided to go back to utp earlier than scheduled. it was raining heavily, worst downpour i ever had, and i am stuck in my uncle’s house here in manjalara. i planned to go straight back actually, but due to headache and some blood pressure rise because of the rain, i had to stop and spend my night in his house, before continue driving early next morning. thanks to his son’s laptop and the broadband installed in his house, i manage to get into this blog. and i am now waiting for things i worry the most. my friend borrowed my car, and he promise to return by 12, and it’s now 115. dammit, if i knew it was happening, i wont let him take the car.

my grandparent were still not totally recoved from their double illness. we went to the bank this morning to withdraw my grandmom’s cash for her home kept, and i amazed when i look at the figure. ahahaha. it quite a lot, and i didn’t expect an elderly like her will be able to save money that much. simple say, if my both my grandparents merge their account, they could buy a brand new car. where the heck that they got so much money. if must be sometimes that they collected that money. they have nothing much to spend anyway with that money i think, but comparing me, i have a lot of things ahead in my life, yet i didn’t have any savings hehe. i wonder when i will start saving money, and not spending everything i earn each month. we went to pasar also, buy her some food suply for a week, and some prawns that she’s been kempunan.

i need to sleep, there’s a lot waiting me tomorrow. i need to rush back to utp, and prepare my report+presentation. nothing much i can do at home. haihs. k la. gotta sleep. see you in utp tomorrow.

p/s: to my maryam, go topap, and reply my text. it’s only you that can cheer up my day, teman me while im alone, and be beside me when i am driving singlely, eventhough you are not visually seen.

home, happy, tired

i had been awoke by my grandpa’s severe cough. clock shows it was 3 in the morning. his extreme cough and sesak nafas worries me. i had to wake up and get him a glass of water, and watching him coughing endlessly. i felt really terrible since i had no power to help him reduces him pain, instead of just staying awake and watch over him, and he asks for 100plus. luckily we still have some left by my dad in out fridge, and he fall sleep again after drinking half-full glass of 100plus. i cant sleep though, and ended up writing this. there are flocks of nyamuk covering my leg, sucking my blood, but i dont have the will to chase them away. xde perasaan. let them have some feast, and i am melayan my perasaan.

yesterday, i drove all the way to kuantan, go and return back in the same day. i am sending my sister to politeknik sultan ahmad shah, and drive my mom to the bangunan persekutuan kuantan for her work. and were are having a good time shopping at the new east coast mall, and went to giant too. my mom’s best friend, makcik nor also rodes with us, and there is something that i want to write about her, when i have the time later.

i was really happy that i am home, and all my bro and little sis were at home. but it was really tiring doing many house chores all day, and my fyp was not touch at all. haih..i need to take some time for myself, and maybe return to utp earlier…

(going to sleep. ting tong da ni. esok pagi nk g pasa carik udang galah, my grandma craving for it, and we cant found it in kuantan semalam)

im going home

it’s 4 in the middle of night, and i’m prepared to go back home.

i just cant stand it when my little bro and sis call me 4 times yesterday, asking when im going back, plus long blabber from my mom. hehe. i’ll come back on wednesday for fyp report submission, plus presentation. there is soo many things that i want to write here, but i have limited time to do all the chores.

it’s going to be long week for me, and i’m driving alone this morning. dang~!

bye bye. see you later. happy hols!!!

i am homesick

“hello, ma. adoi. lamenye x balik umah. ayah mane? lor. asek bejalan je. tok ngn tokwan sehat ke? oo ok la cmtu. adik2? ceh. pemalas gle. tah pape tah. bak sini cakap ngn die. oy gemok. nape x g ngaji? laa. siap aa awak long balik nnt. dh2. kang suh kakak on ym. bole chat. xde duit nk bayar bill nk ckp lame2. bai. isk. sebok je. dh2. syuh2. bai”

i miss home. waa. i love being here, but i am tired of spinning my head every single day doing projects, assignments presentations, classes, quizzes, test etc. just want to be away, going back home. i miss my family. duh. x malu tol dh besa2 pon homesick kan haha

tok and tokwan, my personal supporters and fans, even when i’m quarelling with my mom, they always be behind me haha. i love them

ayah and mama, the reasons why i am exist. im not a good son mom, forgive me. slalu sgt melawan, and being ignorant of what the’ve said. but i love them more than anything

nazrin, nazir, nazira, nazmir, nazdmi, nazlia. the zaini’s. we are the only grandchildrens to the ali’s, since mom is the only child. hehe. that’s why we always run to tok and tokwan when helps needed keke.