i’m a complainer. i know i’m picky and always hard to please. i have a really bad traits that i will not do things that i’m not fond to and tend to be rebellious against it. but sometime we just dont have the right to choose. as if all the rights to decide had to bow down to the needs and reality. i hate that!
being away on a 5 meters waves and 35 knots winds is not easy. sleep in a cradle every time always bring nightmares. uneven floors and tiny room make me restless. and to top that, cracking my head everyday to catch with work is killing. i didnt chose this to be my life, but the fact is, i did chose this. i hate that!
i just realize that i am too small to choose, to fragile to change. i dont know. i need to change but i just afraid of the uncertainty and risks. i will keep complaining and bustling my head over this, until someday i am really tired and ready to change. and i miss a lot of things back home!