gloomy and slow

i am counting days before everything reach the edge, the last page of another chapter in my life journal.  its just a matter of time before i can make the call to the end of my life as a university student. once i step out from the gate, it remarks a new beginning to another stories, challenges and futures. 

it is hard for me to call for a wrap after this 5 years entitling as a college/tertiary student. there are a lot of happiness, sorrow, hardship, hatred, memories and life changing experiences i gained here. here i learned what is the true meaning of friendship. it is not as simple as having somebody and you know his/her name, then you call them friend, but it is more than that. friend is someone you can’t bare not takling to them, you’ll miss their faces and smiles, and you regret and sad when you hurt them. 

this university life potray the real meaning of friendship. i had a lot of friends which i treasure soo damn much, until to the level i can’t express it with words and voices. we had few days left to be spend together, and i can’t imagine myself being by my own after this, without friends who stand before me and hold me when i fall.

we went out tonight. dinner, jokes and chat as usual. and the places we went also is the ordinary. but the mood is very different. i can sense that. we talk like always, but the tone is lowering down. we make jokes as before, but the laughes is somehow bitter. i dont know why. we always quarrel over stupid things previously, but now we let other say whatever that wish to say, without have the guts to provoke back. its gloomy. maybe it is not just me who felt that. others too. mere human being we are. we meet and leave. 

i cant continue. i am sure tears will easily run over my goldfish cheek if i let this feeling takes over me. i need to be strong. talking about friendship will have no end. so i’ll stop here. and to those friends i love and care soo much, please don’t make this hard on us ok. i love you dear buddy. sorry for everyhing.


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