longest and hardest

3pm-230am, one of the longest sleep i ever had. haha. its not totally 11 and half hours, i paused in between to pray and checking my chatbox, and continue again. whatever you might say, i am having my own good time since last few months, enjoying my days, and trying to erase the worry about my fyp for some while.

(15hrs earlier)

i knocked on my room door this morning around 1030 am, after 4 hrs driving from kuala lumpur alone. i took the old road from slim river, and follow the road to bidor-tapah-kampar-malim nawar-tanjung tualang before arrive at utp’s majestic gate. intentionally, i tried to discover new route in perak so i took the old road. i stopped at bidor to purchase some guava, and explore the beautiful of tin-mine lake that carpeted all the way from malim nawar to tanjung tualang. at one time, i do felt like i am in the middle of mountain range, surrounded by seas, and some white sand desert. it was a good experience, since i am a good country explorer.

(24 hrs earlier)

in the last post, i mentioned about one of my friend borrowed my car. he was a long time friend, and i treat him with trust, honest and sincere friendship. but to my bad, i discovered that he is not one of the kind i can trust anymore. i am soo sad and feel terrible to write this, but i have to. i have no one that i can talk about him, and this wordpress is the only one i can express myself.

he borrowed my car since 10pm and promise to return back at 12am. at 1215am, i began to worry, i text him, he replied, “aku balik kol 1”. ok then, so i waited till 1, and he doesn’t shows up, till 145 am. pity me. my trust had been demolished again. and this morning, when i stepped into my car, i found that rm20 that i left for toll had gone. so i ask him, he proudly say “aku pinjam duit ko”. wth is pinjam, without asking. my heart shakes so much, i was in flame. i saved the money for my toll to utp, and he took it, plus no regret nor sorry. saba apam saba..

that was not the only case. last few months, or years, once he was begging me to borrow some money, with his pityfull sound and sms, so i lend him rm100. and he promised to pay back in one month. up to now, nothing i got, even i need to remind him again. urghhh. but still, i can’t see his dark side, because of the long time friendship shadow he had onto me. when he promised, he will cancel last minutes, and he made it few hundreds time, and i am stupidly bersabar. not to count every time i hangout with him, i will pour the petrol, plus treat him with meals.

biarla, let it be. after this, i promised i will not do any pityful action towards him. i will not cut down the friendship, or throwing bad words to him, but i will keep it low. he is not a good friend who can treasure my sincererity. not to forgot, he also have something good he had done for me, such as hanging out with me when i’m in kl, and let me overnight in his house couple of time. but thats the fact, bad things always overshadow good deeds. for me, its hurt like hell, like strucking 2inch thick dildo into my a*s. warrghhh. i hate the feeling, and i even hate the facts more.

(now)

i know that i cant trust anyone easily. there are few person that i know i can trust, only. the person i can trust the most is myself. then my parents, my siblings, my grandparents, my buah hati (hihi), and my immediate friends (i hope they know who they are). long-good sleep had regained my strength, and i am ready for next 24hrs battle against my fyp.

go go go go go go!!!

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